Precursor to that divorce….

Marriage is a Sacrifice; a Relationship between two Forgivers. That is to say that the adage, “Error is to human’, is applicable to singles as much as it is for marrieds. Error happens more in marriage because you are two strangers making a bed together.

That said, NO Marriage breaks overnight. The break goes through several stages…

***Honeymoon stage...

This is a wondrous time with love very tangible in the air. It is impossible to imagine that a wedge can come between them. It is a beautiful time indeed.

***Normal life stage.

___When reality begins to check in.

___What you see when there’s no wig or make up on the face.

___This is when you know a friend in your partner.

___This when the pepper someone has been eating for years is finding its way out.

___Here your patience, endurance, Love is put to work; someone knows where and how you can stink and still enjoy the blessing of God that addeth no sorrow.

1 Peter 4:8 NKJV And above all things have fervent love for one another, for “love will cover a multitude of sins.”

1 Peter 4:8 NLT Most important of all, continue to show deep love for each other, for love covers a multitude of sins.

***Criticism Stage…

Handling weaknesses is still plausible, always making room for one another.

***Warfare stage…

You always do research on what next to use to better your partner, always making sure they are on top of their game. Oh yes, the zeal still burns for you to pray for them..

***Avoidance stage…

This is the day you lose what attracted you to one another, and you begin to kill your marriage.

This leads to emotional separation. No more connection

It once happened with another couple who quarrelled over salt in the food and ended up not talking to one another for two good months. Within these months, this man applied for a job and the day of interview was nigh. The man slept a little late preparing for the interview and wrote a letter to his wife saying, “Please wake me up at 5:30am so that I am not late for the interview”, then laid it next to her bedside. The woman saw it, read and replied at 5:30am saying, “It’s time to wake up, please don’t be late to go for the interview, Wake up!” She then carefully placed it at his bedside. The devil is a liar, the man enjoyed deep dream enclave only to wake up at 8:40am and the interview was at 7am. This is the day ‘intervention’ happened and they began talking again. “I told you to wake me up”, he blurted angrily. Then the wife retorted, “I woke you up by writing it in capital letters.” They ended up reconciling understanding that if they were in oneness, this opportunity would not have bypassed.

Therefore, always strive to make peace with all men.

God dwells where there is unity, joy and Praise.

True love drives away fear, shame and inferiority/superiority complex.

1 John 4:18 KJV There is no fear in Love; but perfect love casteth out fear: because fear hath torment. He that feareth is not made perfect in love.

***Separation stage…

When all manner of intervention fails, some couples move into separate bedrooms. Remember that does not happen in a blink of an eye but a gradual process whose roots must be addressed because the clock is ticking.


It finally strikes midnight and many disastrous decisions are reached.

Will we turn the clock back, I am not so sure?

How about we work to stay in the normal stage?


One woman is enough

One woman is all you need

Believing that my memory serves me right, I have seen a meme of the beauty of having more than one wife. From my point of view, having to share my husband with another woman is sacrilegious. I would not have it. In fact, several years back, two years into marriage, that almost threw a curve ball in our marriage. Thankfully, he sorted himself out.

One thing I have come to appreciate is that managing two women is not easy because women love quality time. Who are you going to starve at the expense of another? That is the start of chaos in your home. By the way, you will age because of that stress. Ask father Abraham, he will narrate.

The other thing is that having one woman, inspite of being the head of the house is discipline. Keeping a tight rope is no joke and those that have done it have mastered a high level of discipline. See, being disciplined is not for anyone but yourself because when you restrain you, you will have peace at night.

Imagine laying your head down and the thoughts literally cause you to jolt because you are wondering what will happen if your wife finds out about the side chic, or how you must look for school fees for the other children yet one source of income has trickled dry. Mehhnnnn, that is a lot of work that could drive you to your grave prematurely.

That is not to say that staying chaste is a walk in the park. However, when you think of the cost such as the chaos of dealing with different homes, cutting corners, dealing with angry women, but most importantly the spiritual weight of infidelity, you want to stay put.

Well, there is a choice to be made, what will yours be?


A little about the blog..

It is still possible to get the marriage of your dreams

It is amazing to learn more about how I can uplift, please, and compliment my spouse. While it would be of no harm to keep it to myself, I thought it better to share what I have learned over the last 10 years with you. God has continues to be gracious to me and my husband that we can walk this journey that is filled with ups and downs and draw lessons.

Come and join me how to make our marriages flourish in an era where marriage is under attack. How do we have fun in our marriages yet still align with God’s will for us? How do we raise the next generation of Godly marriages? How do we become role models to our children? That and much more will feature on these paages.

Join me for the buffet whether you are married, engaged, single as well as those on the fence.